I was in our hotel lobby when I saw a young lady sitting next to me on her iPad searching on Google how to make him propose to her. The question intrigued me and I did a bit of research, I read what dating coaches and Cosmopolitan say about this topic and found hundreds of articles with different opinions.
First we need to clear one very important thing out of the way: you can use sociology and persuasion tricks in dating or marketing and ‘trick’ somebody into buying a product or proposing, but if the other person doesn’t feel in his gut that he actually wants to propose to you then you are set for a disaster. Even within yourself, if you don’t feel that he is the right man for you then you are setting yourself up for an unhappy married life. Everything starts with us, everything starts with our feelings. Let’s assume that you are 100% into him and you know he is the right man for you, even with all his imperfections. Let’s take it for granted that you are confident that you want to get married to him because it just feels right, and not because your parents are pushing you. Let’s talk about him for a bit. Do you want him to propose, do you want him to be the man in your life? You have to make sure that he actually wants to get married (as men, we are never 100% sure of the right moment). You have to make sure that he is mature enough and already got all the crazy things men do in their 20’s out of his system. Men need to go through a phase in their lives where they do things for themselves because otherwise they will feel that they are missing out on things they didn’t do when they were single, but that’s another topic for another time and day. The most important thing for you is to truly understand if he really wants to get married. Show him that he will not miss things in his life but quite the opposite he will win an amazing woman, and that’s you. If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong and he is not the right man for you, get out and run as fast as you can because the alternative will be you wasting your valuable time. We all have only one life and we need to live that life with passion and love.
There are a few things that you can do to influence him into thinking about marriage. If you go up to him and say propose to me or show him a ring that you like that’s putting pressure on him and you will make him feel guilty. You don’t want your man to feel guilty because resistance will follow. You want him to genuinely want to propose to you. You agree that there are different ways of asking something, right? You can either bark out an order: “Clean the kitchen” or we can ask nicely: “Babe, don’t you think that our house will look so much better if the kitchen is clean?”. As human beings, we don’t want to be told what to do, we want to do things because we truly want to do them and we want to think that it was our own idea. That’s another topic that we will share soon in our newsletters. Let’s get into how to make him propose.
You want him to get comfortable with hanging out with people who are happily married. The ideal is for him to make new friends that are happily married. Your married friends will show him that being married has its ups and downs but at the end of the day, their love and their commitment to each other is what’s important. This will work on men who have divorced parents as well. Some men from divorced families are very cautious about walking down the aisle after seeing their parents’ marriage crash and burn. With this ‘tactic’ you will replace any negative emotions with the idea that marriage is a happy and blissful union. So spend more time meeting new married friends and find common interests with them because if you spend time with divorced couples or single couples he will never change, and this is especially the case if your friends are un-happy married couples. There is a famous quote that says show me your friends and I will tell you who you will become.
2. Become the best version of yourself
A lot of men have a fear of getting married, I can confidently say that I do. This doesn’t mean that they don’t want to get married though, all it means is that they don’t want liabilities and drama in their lives. Your boyfriend probably has enough headaches with his job, his business and maybe even family issues so he doesn’t want to have more drama in his life. Having said that it doesn’t mean that men don’t feel the same way as you do, they might just not be conscious of it. That’s where you come in: you have to become the best version of yourself. Your actions will inspire him to work on himself and become a better man. Everybody wants somebody who is working on themselves; we love people who are looking for fulfilment and meaning in life. The goal is to make him admire you by being yourself, so do the things you love, be it yoga, reading books or having fun with friends and becoming the best version of yourself. He will admire you for being yourself. You need to have your own life going on and not make him your priority but make yourself the priority.
It’s not about playing a silly game it’s just about having your own thing going on and loving your life. Become his best friend, his partner in a common hobby you share, and he needs to feel that when you both spend time together all of his worries can instantly leave his mind. The same is goes for him as well. When you’ve had a stressed day at the office you want to go home and be able to share your feelings with him. He needs to feel that when you spend time together it will be drama – free, full of laughs that can be excited to make memories with you.
3. Find new hobbies
We all want ME time, to do things that we love doing: it can be reading a book, watching telly, playing PlayStation, going out with friends or Skydiving. I think couples should focus on things that they love and continue doing things they loved before they met. Consider starting a new hobby alone; cooking classes, learning to draw, mediate, go paintballing or anything else that you think of. There are so many activities that you can find to do that will add excitement to both your lives. Have a conversation with him and discover new things together that you are curious about. He might want to start learning a new language and you might want to start learning salsa.
The point is for both of you to start doing things on your own and live a passionate life. This will give both you and him time to miss each other and to share different experiences. When you meet, you can share your new adventures together and have something new and exciting to talk about.
4. Spend time with your friends
Do you remember when you were single? You had a very active social life, networking events, girls’ nights out and other cool things you used to do. At some point things got serious and you started cancelling plans to be with your new gorgeous man. At some point your friends stopped asking you out, you saw it coming but you ignored it, we all do it at some point in our life, men and women alike. You have to start your social life anew. Let him know that you are going out again and he will see you in a different light. As men, we love to know that our partner/girlfriend is not all in on us. We love independent women, it’s attractive and it’s sexy. Go through your Facebook friends and reconnect in real life. Make sure you invite them to your wedding because once you start spending more time with your friends he will start thinking about proposing, and he is sure to make google his best friend.
5. Have An Honest Conversation
Imagine waking up and smelling a Mediterranean Sea breeze… Imagine having an amazing English Breakfast in bed with your boyfriend. You can make it happen, book a random trip to Cyprus book your stay at Elias Beach Hotel, Alexander The Great Beach Hotel in Paphos or any of Kanika Hotels & Resorts. I suggest the Alexander The Great Beach Hotel, which has an amazing sea view and Paphos is the perfect place to enjoy an amazing time together.
The purpose of this trip is for you to have an honest conversation about where you are in life. Ask him where he wants to be in the next three to five years. Ask him about his ideal life. Speak the truth because the truth always wins. You can tell him that you are thinking of getting married and you are ready to settle down. The best ‘strategy’ is to have an honest conversation about things you want to change. He will open up to you once you start telling the truth. It’s a bit harder for men to open up because of society, so try to understand him a bit. Once he starts speaking honestly to you don’t judge him for speaking the truth because it takes courage and you want him to be real and authentic with you. He might realize that he loves you and he wants to propose to you or he might realize that he doesn’t. Most probably he will realize that he is in love with you and will want to share the rest of his life with you. At the end of the day, what matters most in our life is the love we share with our families and our partners.
So there you have it: when he does propose make sure you speak to one of our wedding coordinators. If you have a friend who is looking for answers and ideas about how to make him propose, send this article to her in your private messaging group. In the meantime, you can subscribe to our newsletter for unique and amazing content. If you have any questions, please do comment below and let’s start a conversation.
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