Intimacy… it is the state of togetherness, deeply knowing another person and feeling deeply known, a cozy and private or relaxed atmosphere, love-making, connecting…
All these meanings are tucked into this single word. And that is exactly what every healthy human being wants and needs, especially when in a love relationship, regardless of age or whether the relationship is still new and fresh or has endured through many years of marriage. I have come to believe, that intimacy is not just a psychological fad or a rallying cry of up-to date couples but a basic biological need!
The sad thing is that intimacy is often sacrificed at the altar of everyday life. Especially when you have been coupled up for a long time, it’s easy to get stuck in a lukewarm routine – even things you do for fun or recreation can become dull, monotonous, uninspiring, unstimulating, even boring and depressive.
Let’s face it: daily life is rough on couples, especially the married ones. Financial pressures, workload, problems at work, deadlines, home chores, raising kids or caring for other family members, social events and obligations, lack of me-time – all take a poke at you, as if determined to keep you focused on everything else but your significant other and your relationship.
Just thinking about it is making you feel woozy, right? Well, don’t ignore that feeling! Take a step back from the daily grind and remind yourself that there are other people in your orbit – like your partner! – who deserve and need your attention and affection. You need to maintain intimacy and get back in the game.
Of course, it is not always easy to break away from the routine. The “I-cannot- afford-a-vacation” mindset; the guilt associated with leaving kids, aging parents, or grandchildren behind; the boredom or even fear of change and the inertia to simply carry on as usual; these are all powerful forces.
To make matters worse, it seems that in some ways many couples have been brainwashed into thinking that being responsible individuals, means neglecting themselves. In fact, researchers have discovered that spending quality time with your partner away from the daily routine and away from your children increases the fun, the friendship and intimacy in the relationship. It also allows you to recharge your batteries, renew yourself and perform better after the break, both at work and in your everyday duties.
What really makes intimacy flourish in a couple’s life? Things are simple actually! As all psychologists and couple counselors across the board advice, a getaway vacation is one of the vital factors that increase intimacy in a couple’s life! Well, we all know that alone-time is great, not to mention important for your sanity, but there are some things couples shouldbe doing together, and preferably with no kids involved! Unless you are a masochistic fan of vacations where you arrive with five bags, four kids and seven I-thought-you-packed-its…
So, the first thing to do is to unplug and plan a getaway for two. Relationship experts agree that this is an activity that belongs at the top of a couple’s TO-DO list – and they have the research to back it, as studies have long established the importance of taking vacations. Going on holiday offers physical, mental and psychological benefits, including reducing stress and promoting overall well-being and happiness. In addition to the benefits for each individual, the joint benefits that couples will experience when they share quality time away can be very enriching and rejuvenating.